I rather be a hermit

There's no point in talking to anyone. I'm not worth anyone's time. I have nothing interesting to say. I dont do anything interesting. I'm pointless. Might seem like a contradiction typing it on my blog, though I think other people that dont see the point in talking to anyone would feel better knowing there is someone else out there that doesnt see the point in talking to anyone. 

I'm working on changing myself and talking to people isnt getting me anywhere, so what's the point? The people I know are just dragging me down. The people that I encounter online are dragging me down. I'm much better by myself. I'm not sure if it's something missing in my head or just the places I choose to put myself arent healthy for me to be in. 

When I get my new computer from System76 I'm not going to install Hexchat or Discord on it. I'm finished with online communication outside my blog, Youtube and what I absolutely have to do to function. I'll email people I guess, but not very many people will get my email address or no one. Since most people dont care about me anyways. 

When I told one of my friends I was going to stop chatting on the internet he said he hopes I reconsider. I wasnt sure whether or not to believe him so I just left after that. He barely talks to me, why would he care if I was gone? 

I'm not sure if I want to talk to my family either. I never hear from any of them. If I ever do it's never pleasant. Conversations with dad like most of my life is like talking to a talking wall and it gets worse the older he gets. He was like that when I was a kid and now he just forgets he says things and tells me the same things repeatedly. My brother never calls me except when he has a problem with me of some kind. 

I was thinking of just letting my dad talk to my voice mail mostly because it's a lot less stressful. He's going to talk at me not with me anyways so he might as well talk to my voice mail instead of me. I suppose the same can be said for my brother, but he literally never calls anyways. My brother thinks he's better than me. And maybe he is, he's got a job while I dont but he could at least treat me with some kind of compassion. 

I have a hard time putting my thoughts into words and I often dont describe things very well. Yet people pound sunshine up my ass and tell me my writing is really good.