Thinking about thinking

I have a hard time thinking. I have a hard time conjuring up thoughts and thinking things through. It's as if I have mental blocks to certain thoughts. It can make me kind of impulsive at times, even though most of the time I do think in a way I dont do it enough and I have trouble with my memory as a result so I can be impulsive. 

The thinking problems may be due to short term memory loss, or some other thing I'm not aware of. I do remember things but sometimes I'm in my own little world and my mind is blank. I find writing about things helps because then I can see my thoughts on a page or computer screen. 

They say speech is the index of the mind(an by extension of that so is writing) So I just had this idea I could talk to myself even though it's awkward. I dont mean in a public place but maybe in private even though I have a hard time talking out loud unless I'm talking to someone. Even when I'm making a Youtube video. I should work on that. Someone told me once "If you cant talk to yourself you cant talk to anyone" or shouldnt be, I forget which. Maybe he meant if you're not talking to yourself even internally maybe it's not such a great idea or responsible.