In general I have a hard time articulating my thoughts especially when I'm distracted by loud noises. Though the loud noises shouldnt be a problem so I'm correlating it with the wrong thing. 

As I understand some of my beliefs. Life is suffering, in order to be 'happy' you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable because generally if you're constantly running away from being uncomfortable you'll never be okay in your own skin. You'll never be 'happy' though happiness isnt a real thing, constant happiness. happiness is a very fleeting thing. It just doesnt work that way, the brain doesnt work that way. If there was a such thing as real happiness as people say, we wouldnt have survived as a species. 

Wanting to feel comfort is fine, but being uncomfortable leads you to grow, and ultimately leads you to feeling more comfortable, since you're less frustrated when you dont get what you want. I think this belief comes from Zen Buddhism. Which is exposed to as a kid. I was influenced by a person that believed in Zen, I think he was a youth worker of some sort, even though he didnt tell me his beliefs later I found out what those were when i thought back.  i sort of absorbed the belief system from interacting with him and never applied it fully, since I wasnt aware I had these beliefs until recently. I get confused about where things originated in my mind, so I cant be too sure.

When ever i try to tell people my beliefs they dont understand and think I'm very crazy. People dont understand what I mean because they confuse it with the other kind of Buddhism which I'm not familiar with, they think it's really weird, but Zen is nothing llike the one they think of at least by some of the things a person or two someone I talked to said, the last one totally stopped talking to me for even mentioning it. I dont mention it to people much because it doesnt come up much. In general I tell no one because I'm not able to explain it well because in general I have a hard time especially when I am sleepy.

I think I'm going to learn more about Zen, because I think it would be healthy for me to apply it fully. Since I dont currently. Also I should stop telling certain people about it that dont seem to have an open mind.